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Cranium Shopping Mall

Don't hold off on the toboggan, use that noggin! The Cranium Shopping Mall: Everything you need, everything you want, everything, everything, everything!1)

–Jingle from a Cranium Shopping Mall television advert

Whatever you need, the Cranium Shopping Mall has it. Proud sponsor of the Cranium Conference, the Cranium Mall is an enormous mega-mart at the edge of town, home to a host of outlets, cafés, bars, cinemas, restaurants, and even a full arcade. Space is limited (though barely) and highly coveted, so expect to see businesses come and go regularly, making every trip to the Mall a unique experience.

Though the vast majority of stores provide more mundane items and experiences, a select number of businesses utilise psychic capabilities to provide a catered experience for their target demographic. So whether you're looking for home refurbishments, a shop-till-you-drop spree for the ages, or just a way to fill a Saturday afternoon, the Cranium Shopping Mall has everything you'll ever need, and everything you'll ever want. Everything, everything, everything!2)

A small selection of the variety of stores can be found in the attached brochure, along with a map to reach the Mall from the central plaza.

The Coffee Company

Part of a larger chain of coffee shops, the Coffee Company is one of the newest additions to the Cranium Shopping Mall. Though not a small site by any means, the shop has an air of claustrophobia to it as tired-eyed baristas squeeze through heavily crowded chairs, carrying trays of too-hot drinks for impatient customers. Perhaps that's why the vast majority of sleep-deprived patrons simply get their coffees to go on their morning commutes to work. Yet despite these drawbacks, the Coffee Company appears to be doing well for itself. After all, who can argue with cheap coffee?

Drink, Dance, Dream

The hottest bar and club for psychics in town, Drink, Dance, Dream offers a premise truly unlike any other: the interior of a receptive's mind!

Stepping into the drab interior of the outlet, one might be easily fooled by the faux wood panelling and empty shelves behind the tiny bar, but take a seat in one of the many comfortable recliners, close your eyes, and step into the mind of bar-owner Giovanni Ricci to find the real party occurring in his Headspace, complete with an open bar (self service, of course), psychedelic disco, and even a series of side rooms for private discussions (well, as private as any discussion inside someone else’s head can be). Just be sure not to stray too far from the bar space, or else you'll find Argus, Giovanni's hired psychic security, keeping a very close eye on you.

The Arcade

Located one floor below ground of the Cranium Shopping Mall, the Arcade is every teenager's greatest fantasy come true. Row upon row of electronic game machines bathe in neon lights; claws glint tantalisingly, promising prizes for but a small price; disco balls glint and glimmer, throwing shades of pink, green and blue to dance upon the many awed faces enraptured below. Truly, there is no better way to spend your time (or your money) than lost among the maze of blinking lights and flashing logos.

The Hardcastle Housing and Loan Co.

The oldest bank and property firm in Museford, still owned by the aristocratic Hardcastle family. Its imposing limestone façade hides a grand marble cashiers' hall, a warren of offices where clerks shuffle around numbers on little bits of paper, and its deep steel-doored vault.


Budget supermarket chain catering to all your nutrition and baked-bean craving needs. Forlorn lost trolleys from TERPSICO are an occasional sight around some areas of Museford, though rumours of a underground trolley-racing scene among adolescent Musefordians are as yet unsubstantiated.

"Embrace the New Day!!! :-D:-D " stand

A small pop up stand hosted by the Children of the Dawn, who say they are totally not a cult, guys, seriously. The smiling acolytes wearing “learn the secrets of the tomorrow!!” and “Be Radiant!!!” T-shirts have bright, if slightly over-keen smiles, and will do their utmost to give a explanatory pamphlet to you and all shoppers in a six metre radius. To entice people in they sometimes offer free smoothies.

Key NPCs

Cass Eugenia O'Leary (she/her)

The head of the Coffee Company branch here in Museford, Cass is rarely seen around town, and even more infrequently seen in the Coffee Company store! Nonetheless, she's made a name for herself as a very capable businesswoman, with the Coffee Company already raking in profit despite only having opened its doors a few weeks ago.

Giovanni Ricci (he/him)

Founder, owner, and location of Drink, Dance, Dream, a bar and club catering to psychics. Giovanni is popular, seen as business-savvy, imaginative, and good-humoured.

Argus (they/them)

Hired psychic security of Drink, Dance, Dream, Argus is there to make sure patrons don't wander too far into Giovanni's subconscious. They're damn good at their job too, though that is of course helped by the fact that they're covered head to toe in eyes and ears, ensuring that very little gets under their (absent) nose.

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cranium_shopping_centre.txt · Last modified: 2022/08/13 17:47 by gm_jamie